Grumbly Tumbly = Grumpy Gretchen

This time of year becomes very hectic for me.  Long days at work, angry parents that have to pay for their college student's damage billing and staff that is exhausted.  I don't spend enough time with my puppy and work 7 day work weeks.  I have always allowed this time of year to be an excuse for me to just eat crap and be inactive.  It is very easy to come home at night (stripping off clothes on my way to the bedroom to put on pjs) and make a bag of microwave popcorn for dinner (who wants to cook when you get home at 7:30pm?)

Sounds healthy right?  I am determined to make better choices this year. We usually purchase a few lunches for the staff during this time so they don't have to leave the property and can complete the work that needs to be done.  They decided they wanted a burger place that has the best milk shakes......when I placed my order yesterday, I lingered on the milkshake page and tried to convince myself it would be okay.......but then chose not to order one. 

Food prep was hard this week because I got back, from a weekend away, on Monday and didn't have food in my house.  I muddled through on Tuesday and went to the store after work.  I get pretty grumpy if I haven't eaten.  If you add in exhaustion with the grumbly tummy........look out, it is UGLY!  I knew I would need to eat when I got home last night, so I made sure I had some pre-cooked chicken sausages ready to go.  I popped a sweet potato in the oven for tonight and prepped everything I will need to through together a quick dinner tonight. 

 This is what I will be eating for dinner tonight (minus the deviled egg):

http://www.bariatriceating.com/2016/03/easter-dinner-plate-ham-glazed-pineapple/

I was still craving something before bed and I always try to eat protein right before bed so that I don't wake up starving.  so I made this and it was DELICIOUS!!!  I added mini chocolate chips.Seriously, you should try this immediately!  It tasted just like cookie dough and wasn't too sweet.  I am going to try it with chocolate protein powder tonight. Protein packed, but felt indulgent.

http://www.bariatriceating.com/2016/05/easy-everyday-meal-peanut-butter-cookie-dough/

I have to be extra intentional during this time of year to make sure I don't snack mindlessly or choose foods that just are not good choices.  I have to prep lunches and dinners. Breakfast is easy because I have a protein shake and maybe a small piece of fruit or some berries.

So this week the motto is prepare, prepare, prepare! 

Airplane travel = Embarrassment

Airplane travel for obese people can be a very painful experience.  I usually fly Southwest Airlines and have found the customer service to be fantastic.  I don't ever ask for a 2nd seat, the arm comes down and I fit into the space (not always comfortably), but I fit. So, yesterday, when I checked in at the airport, the desk agent asked me if I wanted another seat (they don't charge any longer).  I said, I don't need one.  She said, the flight is fairly full, so I want you to be comfortable, I am going to book a 2nd seat for you.

As I mentioned, I don't ask for one, but when the offer, I usually say okay.  It is just easier than having to deal with the looks of people when the get on the plane and the only seat left is next to me.  The give me a look like I have some type of infectious disease.  I just want to say, don't worry, you can't catch obesity just by our arms touching.  I get it, it isn't comfortable to be crowded in the middle seat, but I do have feelings.

So, here I am, with a reserved seat ticket sitting on the middle seat and they have allowed too many passengers to board and not enough seats.  Apparently, they had 5 crew members on board who were trying to get to their home base.  So, the flight attendant walks by, looks at me and says (not quietly), you have a 2nd seat, right?  I said yes.  This woman, across the aisle from my row, looks over at me in disgust.  I bit my tongue and didn't say anything.  I knew if I opened my mouth, I would have gotten kicked off the plane.  So then, they realize, they still have one crew member who needed to be seated.  The flight attendant asked if it was okay for the employee to seat in the reserved seat.  The man, said he didn't mind at all.  I said, of course I don't mind, I only took the seat to avoid the dirty looks of other passengers.  I also shared with her that she had no idea how rude and mean people could be.  I shared with her the looks I got when she announced I had an extra seat.  She said, are you kidding?  Well those people should look half as good as you do.  She said, honey, you are beautiful, people should be ashamed of themselves.  To be honest, I teared up a little bit. 

Thinner people have no clue what it is like to be large on a plane.  You get into your seat and make yourself as small as you can.  You hate having to ask for a seat belt extender (another embarrassment).  I hated it so much, that I purchased one through Amazon when I flew to Ireland last year. 

We talk to our children about how to deal with bullying, but yet, people don't acknowledge that when you say something hurtful to an obese person, you are being a bully yourself. If we all stopped and thought before we spoke or judged someone, it would be a better world.  When you say something hurtful, you are just adding to the emotional issues someone may have. We all have a history, and you don't know the path someone has had to walk through life. Needless to say, I am looking forward to my first plane ride after surgery.  I can't wait to not need a seat belt extender and to have room in my airplane seat. 

Back to life, Back to reality.......

I had such a great weekend visiting family and good friends.  I was able to connect with two girlfriends from high school, which is always a good time!  I also connected with two women I worked with at a girl scout camp 23 years ago! Such a great weekend!  But now it is time to get back to the grind!  My goal is to lose 20 lbs by October.

I definitely did not follow my plan while I was away.  I ate lots of great food, but most of it was not good for my body.  At least I started each day with a protein shake!  I definitely feel bloated and more lethargic than I had been feeling.  But, I only have me to blame. There is a reason I didn't weigh myself this morning.

My parents were extremely supportive and on the first night home, dad asked if him drinking a soda would bother me.  Then another night, mom asked if it would bother me if she put out Italian bread for dad.  Have I mentioned, I have the most amazing parents??

So I won't beat myself up for my choices the past few days, I will just get back to my routine and hard work to make some real life changes!  So even though my swimming pal won't be there tonight, this big girl is headed to the pool for Aqua Boot Camp...This time of year is busy at work, and I usually use that as an excuse to not eat healthy and not exercise.  This year, IS going to be different.  I have to make the right choices.  So that means, figuring out how to get to strength training at least 2 times a week and in the pool 3 times a week.  That leaves to "rest" days.  On the rest days, I still plan to do something intentional. I also have to start walking buildings/apartments at work, so that will get my steps in daily.  I have to inspect 144 apartments in 33 buildings.  I also use this time to make sure the storage spaces and mechanical rooms are up to my standards.

So.....please feel free to ask me tomorrow if I went to the pool tonight.  I need the accountability!

Out Out Damn Habit........

Well....yes, the past 2 days are not days I would put in the win column.  I have had a change happen in my work world and it has caused me some stress.  But I need to find a different way to cope because the past 2 days I have not made the best food choices.  I have never been one to hold my tongue when I have something to say, but am trying not to stick my foot in my mouth, so I have been suppressing some stuff.  When that happens, I tend to stuff my mouth with crap food...........

I have been working so hard and I won't let this situation completely derail me!  So starting right now, I am going to figure out a different way to cope.

I am glad I am going to my parent's tomorrow for a long weekend......I definitely need to unwind...maybe put my toes in the sand, sit around a fire with good friends and leave some stuff in Baltimore.

I know my head is in a different place because all morning I have been trying to talk myself out of going to strength training tonight.....The struggle is real and I know that having WLS is not going to take that struggle away.  It may be time to figure out how to get BCBS to cover counseling with a psychologist and not psychiatrist.

Weekend Update with Gretchen.......

This past week, I only went to the gym 3 times (twice for circuit training and once for aqua boot camp).  I did some exercising at home, but not enough.  I can honestly say, my body felt it.  I was sluggish and lethargic. I just didn't feel right.  (OKAY, for those of you who said I would notice when I missed a work out, just HUSH!!!!)

Let me be clear, going to the gym isn't something I enjoy, BUT I do like the results.  I didn't realize how differently I have felt since I started intentionally exercising.  Funny how you don't always realize something until you change a behavior that makes your body react negatively. I am actually bummed that my strength training class is cancelled for tonight.  I can feel myself getting stronger, my muscles are not taking as long to recover and I know it is making a difference because my clothes are fitting differently.

So to those who said, suck it up, just keep going, it gets easier, I wouldn't saying it is easier, because when it becomes "easy", we increase the weight, but it isn't as hard as it was the first night I went.  It is also empowering to be with a group of women who know the struggle of being obese and trying to get our bodies healthy.  I would post a pic of our group, but some of the women are in the WLS closet.

Two other things I noticed over the weekend. I tend to skip meals when I am home on the weekends.  This is a big no no when you are trying to lose weight. I may have to start setting an alarm to remind myself to eat.  Skipping lunch often leads to me being incredibly hungry (and grumpy) when it comes time for dinner.  That usually leads to very poor food decisions.  I also don't drink nearly enough water.  I only got in 32 oz yesterday.  No bueno!

My friend sent this to me!  So true.

The second thing I noticed, is that over the weekend my support system is even more important. I need my workout pals to say, even though I won't be there, get your butt to class.  I need my friends to encourage me to make good food choices.  I even stay on the phone with my parents if I am craving fast food so I don't stop.  The people I have chosen to share my journey with, has changed from when I first started in April.  The unfortunate thing is some people will fall out of the circle as the journey continues.  Negativity will not be allowed.  Only people who support me getting healthy allowed!  No food or alcohol pushers please!


 My final weekend update is a scale victory.  I have no idea how different my scale at home is compared to my dr's scale, but when I weighed myself this morning, I was down another 12lbs since July 7th.  Now if my protein powder would just get here so I can continue drinking my shakes in the morning that would be great!

Only 3 work days and then I head to visit my family for a long weekend!

Money, Money, Money........

I am so thankful I have health insurance, and not just health insurance, but insurance that covers bariatric surgery. I have been seeing several people post that they are going to Mexico for the surgery, because they are cash patients, due to insurance not covering it.  Insurance will cover drug rehab, but not a surgery that can reduce further medical issues?  The AMA lists both substance addiction and obesity as diseases, so I am not sure why insurance companies haven't caught up.  Don't get me started on the excess skin removal issue!

Getting healthy isn't cheap, but it is worth EVERY Penny!

The surgery costs around $25,000 (that includes hospital stay, etc.) Thankfully, I will only have to pay my copay of $150.

Let's outline just some of the costs:

1. Gym membership $56/month. Plus any additional classes I may want to take elsewhere or at the gym and have a fee.
2. Protein Powder $33/20 servings.  During the liquid diet phase, you can end up consuming 4 or 5 of these a day.
3. Dr. visits $44 per visit for 6 visits = $264
4. Psych eval: $35 (I got lucky the therapist fought for me and I only had to pay the copay)
5. Vitamins (chewable or liquid for at least 90 days).  We have to take 2 multi vitamins a day and 3 calcium tablets a day.  It is about $23 for a 30 day supply.  I will have to take these the rest of my life.
6. With rabid weight loss, I will need to be replacing clothing as the weight comes off.

I am choosing this path, so I am not complaining, but it takes a great deal of planning and preparing.  I am trying to purchase stuff each pay period to lessen the financial hit.  The good thing is, that during the liquid pre op and liquid post op phase, I won't need to purchase any "food".  

Speaking about money.....I just have to say, I have the 2 most amazing parents.  I am going home next weekend for a visit, which means I have to board my pup ($300).  I planned on paying for the boarding, she is my pup after all.  Dad said, don't argue, we are paying for half because we want to see you.  Mom said, nope, I told dad we are paying the entire boarding bill because you getting healthy and preparing for surgery is more important than us having the $300.  How amazing!  Seriously, I am so lucky in the parent department!  So that meant, I could stock up on some protein powder, order some vitamins and maybe pick up some Isopure water.

Now, if I could figure out a way to get insurance to pay for my required vitamins, that would be great!  Or if I could figure out how to be able to use my medical cafeteria plan to purchase them, that would be good too!

Eating my curds and whey....or at least my whey!

Little Miss Muffit sat on her tuffit.........

A while back I had asked the Facebook world for input on protein powders.  Boy are they expensive!  Unfortunately, most of the brands my friends are using, are whey protein concentrates (much more affordable).  Bariatric patients should only use whey protein isolate.

Let's start by discussing what whey actually is.  Whey is the by product of making cheese.  Yep, cheese.  Once upon a time, it was considered a waste product and today it is recognized as one of the best sources of quality protein.  It is digested and absorbed more efficiently than other other protein.

What is the difference you ask?

• Whey protein isolate (WPI) is processed further than whey protein concentrates (WPC).   This allows the removal of most of the fat and lactose.  WPI is more pure and better absorbed than WPC.

Whey is absorbed at a rate of 8-10 grams an hour where as casein protein is absorb at a rate of less than 5 grams per hour.  So, when you are trying to get in 100 grams of protein a day, whey is definitely the best choice.

Of course you may experience some side effects when you use Whey protein.

• Increased bowel movements
• nausea
• thirst
• bloating
• cramps
• reduced appetite
• fatigue
• headaches

Bariatric patients have to do liquid diets early after surgery and slowly work their way up to solid foods.  Protein shakes are a good way to get in the required protein.  Thankfully, there are tons of companies that make these products.  They have fun flavors like chocolate bliss, peanut butter cookie, peanut butter cup, blueberry cheesecake, pumpkin, etc. If you are looking to add protein shakes into your diet, I recommend getting sample packets if available.

Here are some of the companies I purchase from:
http://www.bariatricadvantage.com/catalog/categoryHandler?cat=Complementary%20Products%20:%20Protein%20Powders%20:%20Nectar&expand=1

http://www.mybariatricpantry.com/Syntrax_Nectar_Protein_s/4.htm

http://www.bariatriceating.com/

http://www.unjury.com/?tag=Bing_Brand&utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=Branded%20Paid%20Search&utm_campaign=Brand

https://chikenutrition.com/


People also get very creative with the protein flavors, here is an example of red velvet dream.  You can add sugar free coffee syrup to them and really change things up!

Change your mind to change your body!

Over the past 5 years, or so, I have been really intentional about who I allow to be in my inner circle.  I call it weeding the garden of my life.  I don't have time for negativity and drama.  Trust me, I understand that sometimes life deals you a really shitty hand, but we get to chose how we react to that hand.  We also have the ability to not create drama where it doesn't exist.

When I was in grad school, I dated a guy (not the best choice I have made) and he once said to me, you don't have to have something wrong with you for people to love and care about you.  That one statement (the only good thing I took away from that relationship) has stuck with me since then. 

Listen,  I chose to take this journey because my primary care doctor could tell I was frustrated.  She recommended I talk with a surgeon, get an idea of what the process is and what life would be like afterwards.  I never thought it was a magic bullet, never thought it would be easy, I knew I would have to change everything.

All this back story to say this, I never imagined I would have to block people or leave a support group on social media because of the negativity and the so called "support".

It is not okay to encourage someone who is just 3 months post op to drink alcohol, eat breads, eat cake etc.  Our surgeons give us a tool and isn't that behavior and food choices what caused us to need to seek such a drastic solution??????

I am not perfect, I know I will slip, but I go to these groups to seek good advice from people who have walked the path before me.

One of the groups I belong to is sponsored by a bariatric product company.  They put their rules and guidelines out there for all to read.  I like the group because the admins don't hold back.  They try to be supportive, but say it like it is.  So if someone says, I have been eating rice cakes with peanut butter as my go to, but I don't understand why I have stalled on weight loss or I am beginning to regain, they say, well because you are eating rice cakes.  It is simple.  Your pouch is limited now, you need to reserve the pouch "real estate" for foods that have nutritional value. Yes, you will loose weight in the first year, with little effort.  You may never add exercise of any kind to your routine, you may "cheat" and eat forbidden foods.  Let's face it, you are loosing the weight because you can't fit much into your new stomach.  But guess weight, if you continue those behaviors, you will never reach goal, you will most likely regain whatever you lose AND that means you had an invasive surgical procedure for no reason.

This post was brought on by an article I read this morning about how of course you will lose up to 100lbs in the first 7 months, that isn't your hard work, that is your new stomach working for you.

http://www.bariatriceating.com/2015/07/the-truth-about-bariatric-surgery/

I have recently left online support groups that allow the members to give poor advice, encourage old habits and encourage straying from the subscribed plan.  Food is an addiction, you wouldn't tell a meth addict it was okay to have just a little every once and awhile.  You wouldn't tell an alcoholic that it is okay to drink just on the holidays.  Would you tell someone who was addicted to pain pills that it was okay to shop around to doctor's and hospitals to get the pill they wanted?  I don't think so.  The difference is, we all have to eat to survive.  Don't we owe it to the people, that are on the same path to better health that we are, to not allow themselves to believe it is okay to sneak in a bad food choice every now and then?

I have a good friend, who is bulimic.  Whenever she would get the urge to purge, I told her to find me, we would go for walk, watch a movie, do anything to get her mind off of purging.  Aren't we supposed to do that in a support group?  If you can't handle honesty, don't ask for opinions.  If you can't handle the life changes, maybe surgery isn't the answer for you.

It is hard and sometimes it really sucks!  But it sucks a little less when you have people in your corner cheering you on!

I am fortunate and have a family that supports me (asked me what they should have in their fridge for me when I visit next week), friends who tell me to suck it up because changing your body is going to hurt and be uncomfortable at times, friends who ask the hard questions and call me on my shit.  Friends who will do virtual walks with me while we catch up on the phone.  I am a LUCKY girl and I know it!  But I also have intentionally reached out to people through support groups to help hold me accountable.  Work our partners that will say, come on let's get moving.  People that understand how hard this journey is, no how eating pureed meat sounds disgusting and can give tips on how to make it through each food phase after surgery.  People who can tell me what has worked for them and what hasn't.

The moral of this post:  Choose your "people" wisely.  Don't allow others to deter you from what you want the rest of your life to look like.

After my trip to Ireland last summer, where I had 2 personal best moments, I have decided that my goal in life is to do something for the first time, every chance I get.  If you asked me 6 months ago, if I planned on lifting weights, I would have laughed at you.  I started the journey by saying, I would increase my walking and do Aqua Arthritis classes........now I do strength circuit training and Aqua Boot Camp.......yep, it is a new life for this girl!

As my friend Julie would say.......Adventure On!

Creating Habits......1 day at a time

Soooo........I may have mentioned this before, but I really don't enjoy working out.  Once I get to the gym, I give it my all, but I really have to fight with myself to get my butt in the car and drive to the gym.

It is really important to me, that working out becomes a habit and 2nd nature to me before the surgery.  My activity will be limited a bit right after the surgery, so I want to get as strong as I can now, so when I am cleared for more rigorous activity, I won't be starting from scratch.

I am thankful to have found a few people to keep me motivated to get to the gym.

So, I have been thinking, how do I make these new life changes habits??  Here is some information and suggestions I found:

1. Decide on a goal that you would like to achieve for your health.
2. Choose a simple behavior that you can do on a daily basis that will get you towards your goal.
3. Plan when and where you will do your chosen behavior. Be consistent. Choose a time and a place or a cue that you encounter every day of the week.
4. Every time you encounter that time and place or cue, do the behavior.
5. Put a check mark on the calendar each time you do the behavior. Also record how automatic the behavior felt.
6. It will get easier with time. Within 10 weeks, you should find you are doing it automatically without even having to think about it.
7. Congratulate yourself on having developed a healthy habit! 


I decided to focus a little on #5.  Except, let's face it, a check mark on the calendar, just isn't going to cut it for me.....So I think I am going to do marbles in a jar.  Then for every 50 times I go to the gym, I will treat myself to a facial.

I think I am close to making the gym a habit.  I had someone ask if I was able to get together next week.  I am flying to Boston on Thursday and she is in town Monday through Friday.  The only night I was willing to forgo the gym was Tuesday (because I don't go regularly on Tuesdays yet).  Monday and Wednesday are circuit training classes.  I already know I will miss that class on the 25th because of what time my flight gets into BWI, so I didn't want to miss a class this week and another next week.  Not because I love it, because I don't!  But because I already see some changes and already feel a little stronger.  I want to maximize that.  I only have 4 classes (after tonight) left and will be excited to see my measurements.  I can do circuit training as part of my gym membership, BUT I really like the small group and this trainer is amazing!  She understands bariatric patients and explains why we do each exercise.  I may end up either doing her bootcamp or signing up for another 8 classes of circuit training! (Yep, I am in as much disbelief as you that I just wrote that!)

My body is my sabotager! (WARNING, discussion of a woman's monthly cycle and anatomy)

I have polycystic ovarian syndrome.  What is that you ask?

"Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is a problem in which a woman's hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. PCOS also may cause unwanted changes in the way you look. If it isn't treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease" 

Resource: http://www.webmd.com/women/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-topic-overview

Sooooo.........when I get my monthly cycle, it is so heavy that I can't keep a tampon in.  I also get crazy food cravings (which explains my desperate desire for salty and sweet foods at the moment.)

Tuesday night is Aqua Boot Camp night......which means seeing my dear body has betrayed me, with a lovely gift from mother nature, I won't be able to go.....This means, I will have to adjust my work out plan for tonight.  I feel pretty gross.....I will do something active for at least an hour!


Anyway, back to PCOS. There are a few things you can do to help control the symptoms of PCOS.  There is NO cure! I am on a birth control pill that has a high dose of the hormones and I am on 1500mg of Metformin a day.  The other fun part about PCOS is, unwanted facial hair and acne.

1.  Losing weight may be all you need to help with they symptoms.  Just a small amount of weight loss can help balance your hormones.
2. Eating a balanced diet.
3. Regular exercise
4. If you smoke, QUIT!
5. Hormone Therapy

 I did some reading about PCOS and WLS.  There are some doctor's that actually recommend WLS for PCOS patients that are unable to control the symptoms with medication.  Because PCOS causes hormonal imbalances, it can lead to other metabolic issues.  WLS, helps a patient lose weight, which as I mentioned helps the hormones balance out. 

So here is hoping that after the surgery, and the weight comes off quicker, that I will find some relief with the cramps and flow!

Now, off to eat some yogurt and pretend it is a juicy cheeseburger with fries!

"Last Supper"

 You hear people talk about their "last supper". This usually occurs 3 weeks before surgery (or right before your pre surgery diet is supposed to start, it is different with every surgeon).  Some people make their "last supper" last for the entire time leading up to the pre surgery diet.

I have been really intentional about changing habits now, so that I will not mourn them later.  It really is about changing your relationship with food.  Learning to eat to live, not live to eat.  For naturally thin people, this may not be a challenge, but for this big girl.......that is not how I have lived my life.  Our family gatherings  revolved around food, if you hear me talk about some of my favorite memories and trips, there is always food involved in the conversation.  My pal Brian and I used to get together every month to create meals....food, food, food, wine, food, wine!  That WAS how I planned my social gatherings.  I even belong to a brunching group.

I am going north next week and the trip has 2 purposes!  The main purpose is to spend the day with two of my dear friends that I used to work with at Camp Runels.  I was fortunate to meet up with Claire and her family last summer, on their drive back to NJ from DC, but I haven't seen Melissa since 1995.  These two women are amazing and are 2 of the reasons that summer at camp was a blast.  The 2nd reason, is to have my "last supper".  Even though my therapist is claiming, I am less of an emotional eater than I think I am......I call BULL!

So, while I am home, I plan to have fried clams from the Clambox in Ipswich AND Chinese food from Oriental Gardens. I acknowledge that after WLS, I will be able to have these foods again, if I choose, but they will have to be in moderation and I won't be able to eat much at one sitting.  To off set these very fattening foods....I plan to bring some protein powder with me and will grab some healthy snacks to keep in mom's fridge once I get there.  I am hoping to convince my sister to go on a few walks with me to get some steps in, seeing I will be missing 2 days at the gym.  (Aqua Boot Camp and Aqua Zumba).  I will be back to MD in time on the following Monday to make it to strength training and I will need it after my splurge, especially seeing I have my next weigh in on August 9th.

My guess is, I will have one more "last supper" this summer.  I have told myself that August 31st will be the last time I have alcohol for at least 1 year after the surgery.  UGH, I make it sound like I drink often, I don't, but I like have the option if I want it.  I have also told myself that August 31st will be the last DD iced coffee I have until 6 months after the surgery.  Even caffeine free coffee has acid in it, which increases the risk of ulcers in your new tummy! I have to remember that the first 12-18 months after surgery is the honeymoon period.  This is when the weight loss is the easiest and fastest.

This morning I was craving chicken and waffles, so maybe when my pal Beej comes to help with our student move in, we will enjoy Ms. Shirley's together!

 Off to drink my water....seeing I have 5 minutes to continue drinking before I have to stop for 30 mins.....UGH!

You're so vain, I bet you think this post is about you, don't you........

Let's face it......none of us like the idea of losing hair.  It happens, it is a fact of life, everyone looses hair (some of us, more than others).

Through my research about WLS, I have learned, that hair loss is going to occur.

Did you know that your air has a growth phase called anagen and that 90% of our follicles are in that phase at any given time?  There is also a resting phase called telogen and that lasts 1-6 months.  And the average period is 3 months.  That is the hair you are most likely to shed.

So, for bariatric surgery patients, the hair loss occurs happens between months 3-4 after surgery.  Of course, this occurs more for women than mine.

There are some common reasons as to why it occurs to WLS patients.

• We put our bodies through trauma (surgery and acute illness)
• Many of us have a chronic disease that is debilitating
• Many of us also have hypothyroidism which causes a hormonal imbalance
• Low protein intake, chronic deficiency or rapid weight loss
• Heavy metal toxicity
• Some medications such as beta-blockers, excess vitamin A and anticoagulants.

Depressed yet??

Research and anecdotal comments show that the hair will come back unless you have a chronic illness or genetic reason for the hair thinning.

If you are still losing hair after 6 months, you should probably talk with your primary care doctor, see a dermatologist or seek other advice as to why you are still losing hair.  Make sure you are getting in enough protein and take your vitamins (preferably specific to bariatric patients).  They recommend adding B12 and Biotin as well.

Sooo........Thinning hair is another side affect of WLS that I have come to terms with and decided it is better to have thinning hair than to be morbidly obese!  I guess I will have to talk with Laurie (my hair stylist) about some cute short hair options!

Here are some links to articles that I read and where I pulled information to write this post.

http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles-2/weight-loss-surgery/weight-loss-surgery-nutrition-and-hair-loss

https://www.drdkim.net/ask-the-dietitian/understanding-hair-loss-after-bariatric-surgery/

Water, water, water.......

Now that I have stopped drinking soda, the only thing I have been drinking is water (except for my DD iced coffee in the am on workdays).

The target # is 64oz.  On the days I go to the gym, I definitely exceed my goal.  Some people think, it is just a 64oz liquid intake, and to some extent it is.  I can use sugar free flavorings, diet caffeine free iced tea, etc.  I am not able to count anything that has protein it it towards my liquid intake.  So, this means, after surgery, when I am only on liquids, I not only have to get 80grams of protein in, I have to drink 64ozs of water.  That is a lot of liquid entering my body!  I am concerned about how to figure out how to time the amount of water I am drinking.  I saw these bottles and kind of like them......

Several people on etsy make them and personalize them.....I wonder if a group of people from my support group would like to get together for a crafting session???  Anyway, here is a link to etsy showing the different bottles.

https://www.etsy.com/search/handmade?q=water%20bottle&order=most_relevant&ref=auto2&explicit_scope=1

But, here is my problem.  I have mentioned before that I am trying to work on not drinking 30 mins before, drinking during or drinking for 30 mins after I eat.  Why you ask?  There are 2 main reasons:

1. When you only have 2/3 of your stomach, you need to make sure you have enough room for the 3oz of protein you need to take in during your meal.
2. If you have water in your newly sized tummy, when you eat, it will flush the food out of your stomach faster and therefore, you will have a harder time getting the feeling of being full.

Check out this video for a great explanation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR0VM3mnsgM 

Now, this is tough!  Why you ask?  Because for as long as I could remember, I was taught to drink lots of water before you eat so you aren't as hungry when you are shoveling food into your mouth........

UGH! So difficult.  I have decided this is the next habit I have to tackle.  Not really sure how to go about doing it, but the NUT today, recommended just starting with not ordering any drink with your meal if you are out or not bringing a drink to the table while you are eating.  Maybe, I will have to set a timer to go off 30 mins before I want to eat and for 30 mins after I stop eating.  Any suggestions?


Anyway.......with this new water habit, I need to stalk up on camelbak water bottles.  How is a girl to store all these bottles??  I saw this on someone's post and fell in love with it!  Now that I don't have a cabinet filled with baking items, I may actually have room to do something like this!

So this post is kind of jumbled with a few different thoughts, but at least they are all water related.

I can't believe that today was my 4th NUT appointment.  August 9th is my 5th appointment which will be an individual appointment with the NUT and THEN..............I will have my final with the surgeon in September and if all goes well, I should have a surgery date for something in October......

Okay, back to shopping for vitamins.

Time to vent........

Okay, I am going to be judgemental for a minute.  Listen, I am a big girl, all 411 lbs of me......when I work out, it isn't pretty.  I hate it, no really, I HATE it.  I don't find anything enjoyable about it.  When my friends are eating pasta, pizza, cookies, cheesecake, do I want to be eating those things?  Of COURSE I DO! Do I wish there was a magic pill to make me healthier, to make the weight melt off?  OF COURSE I DO!

But, unfortunately, I did this to myself and only I can change it.  Trust me I get it, I have been the one making excuses, my back hurts, my dog needs attention, work was horrible today, blah, blah, blah.

I even did it last night......My stomach was bothering me, so I decided not to go to Aqua Boot Camp.  I did however change up my work out plan so I got some cardio in.  I used my stationary table top bike pedals and did 40 mins with my arms (20 mins going in 1 direction and 20 mins in the other direction).  I also took Maisie Moon on a 3 mile walk.  Yep, it was hot, yep we both didn't enjoy it, but we both had water and marched on.

I am working really hard to make sure that when the surgery date arrives, I am ready physically and mentally to make these changes permanent.  The new stomach is only a tool, not a quick fix.  I want people to stop saying the surgery failed them....no it didn't.  You chose to resume old habits or never change them to begin with.  I want people to stop saying, I can't exercise because of this or that.  Okay, if you are not exercising, put down the damn slice of pizza and adjust what you choose to put in your mouth. There is always something you can do to move your body.  (Again, I have been there and made excuses).  The difference is, I never said, I can't lose weight because I can't exercise.  Nope, I wasn't able to be successful in losing weight and keeping it off because I LOVE cheesecake, cheeseburgers, pizza, beer, wine, etc.  I loved those things more than I loved myself.  I loved those things, but didn't bother to exercise in order to allow me to eat those things. 

I woke up this morning and thought, hmmm......how can I justify not going to circuit training tonight.  A woman I met last week, and really like, can't go until the trainer comes back next week so she can sign up.  Okay, Gretchen, you can skip it.  NO I CAN'T.  I may have thrown up last week, I may have hated the stupid machine that killed my triceps and shoulders, and I may have not regained full use of my arms until Saturday, BUT I promised myself this time would be different.  I may throw up again tonight.....so what. I may not be able to lift my arm past a 90 degree angle, so what, that sounds like a good excuse to get a massage.

This time, no more excuses.  There are things in life I want to do and my size is holding me back.  I need to start respecting myself.  God only gave me this one body, it is shameful that I have not taken better care of it.  

If I am going to allow someone to remove 2/3 of my stomach........to make a permanent change to my anatomy, then I need to make the effort to use the tool.  If I can't make changes now, I have no business have the surgery.

End of vent!

Oh, baby baby......no baby baby

So...those of you who know me, know I love children, especially the little ones.  BUT, at 43, getting pregnant is not something I want. I currently take LoSeasonique (helps with my Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and of course the no baby thing!) AND I require condoms for the sexually transmitted disease concerns. 

I knew that WLS can improve fertility, but I never thought about having to re-consider the type of birth control I use after surgery. 

One of the reasons I chose Vertical Gastric Sleeve over Gastric Bypass was because I was really concerned about mal-absorption.  I know there is still a possibility with the sleeve, but was told it was less of an issue. 

According to http://www.laparoscopic.md/bariatric/surgery/birth-control:

Malabsorbtive bariatric procedures have the potential to decrease the efficacy of oral medications by limiting the amount of active agent that can be absorbed via the digestive tract; an effect that can be exacerbated by postoperative gastrointestinal disturbances such as vomiting or diarrhea. Combined oral contraceptive pills may therefore be contraindicated for an extended period postoperatively in those undergoing malabsorbtive procedures.

 So.....I have added an appointment with my GYN to discuss options.

Seriously,  my head is spinning from all of this information.  UGH!!!!!!!

 

Ponderings........

So last night, I got home from decorating cupcakes......

They look good don't they? Don't worry....I didn't eat one......no, I promise, I didn't...they are sitting on my desk because I knew if I had them in my house, I would eat them.  And not just one, all 4 of them.  So I figured my staff could have a little treat.,

Anyway, when I got home, I swear I heard my couch calling my name.  It was telling me how much it missed me.  You don't realize how much TV you watch, while laying on the couch, until you look at your DVR after a week of not being home in the evenings to watch your recorded shows.

Now when I get home, I take care of my pup's needs, make sure I eat something and drink more water, and usually climb into bed and fall asleep reading.  I feel like I am breaking up with my TV......sorry old friend!  I will say I have been sleeping a little better.

People keep saying, don't worry, it gets better, it gets easier, you will start to crave it.  Okay, but you know the song I'm A Believer that Neil Diamond wrote and the Monkees recorded??  Well, guess what, I am NOT a believer......that doesn't mean I won't be at some point, but what I want people to remember is, I am just starting the physical piece of this journey.  The most I have pushed myself, before now, is walking 5 miles at once (except when I climbed the Blarney Castle, that was a bitch!).  

Don't get me wrong, I am so appreciative of the support, recommendations, etc. I will continue to push myself as much as I can, but I also know I have limits and need to listen to my body.  I will learn the difference between my body feeling the results of a work out and my body telling me I went too far.  

By the way....those cupcakes I mentioned, they are calling me, but I am ignoring them!  That is the challenge for me...not justifying eating the bad food just because I burned some calories..........

If my head would stop playing games with me......I would be good to go!

Off to drink a protein shake!