When I was in grad school, I dated a guy (not the best choice I have made) and he once said to me, you don't have to have something wrong with you for people to love and care about you. That one statement (the only good thing I took away from that relationship) has stuck with me since then.
Listen, I chose to take this journey because my primary care doctor could tell I was frustrated. She recommended I talk with a surgeon, get an idea of what the process is and what life would be like afterwards. I never thought it was a magic bullet, never thought it would be easy, I knew I would have to change everything.
All this back story to say this, I never imagined I would have to block people or leave a support group on social media because of the negativity and the so called "support".
It is not okay to encourage someone who is just 3 months post op to drink alcohol, eat breads, eat cake etc. Our surgeons give us a tool and isn't that behavior and food choices what caused us to need to seek such a drastic solution??????I am not perfect, I know I will slip, but I go to these groups to seek good advice from people who have walked the path before me.
One of the groups I belong to is sponsored by a bariatric product company. They put their rules and guidelines out there for all to read. I like the group because the admins don't hold back. They try to be supportive, but say it like it is. So if someone says, I have been eating rice cakes with peanut butter as my go to, but I don't understand why I have stalled on weight loss or I am beginning to regain, they say, well because you are eating rice cakes. It is simple. Your pouch is limited now, you need to reserve the pouch "real estate" for foods that have nutritional value. Yes, you will loose weight in the first year, with little effort. You may never add exercise of any kind to your routine, you may "cheat" and eat forbidden foods. Let's face it, you are loosing the weight because you can't fit much into your new stomach. But guess weight, if you continue those behaviors, you will never reach goal, you will most likely regain whatever you lose AND that means you had an invasive surgical procedure for no reason.
This post was brought on by an article I read this morning about how of course you will lose up to 100lbs in the first 7 months, that isn't your hard work, that is your new stomach working for you.
http://www.bariatriceating.com/2015/07/the-truth-about-bariatric-surgery/
I have recently left online support groups that allow the members to give poor advice, encourage old habits and encourage straying from the subscribed plan. Food is an addiction, you wouldn't tell a meth addict it was okay to have just a little every once and awhile. You wouldn't tell an alcoholic that it is okay to drink just on the holidays. Would you tell someone who was addicted to pain pills that it was okay to shop around to doctor's and hospitals to get the pill they wanted? I don't think so. The difference is, we all have to eat to survive. Don't we owe it to the people, that are on the same path to better health that we are, to not allow themselves to believe it is okay to sneak in a bad food choice every now and then?
I have a good friend, who is bulimic. Whenever she would get the urge to purge, I told her to find me, we would go for walk, watch a movie, do anything to get her mind off of purging. Aren't we supposed to do that in a support group? If you can't handle honesty, don't ask for opinions. If you can't handle the life changes, maybe surgery isn't the answer for you.
It is hard and sometimes it really sucks! But it sucks a little less when you have people in your corner cheering you on!
I am fortunate and have a family that supports me (asked me what they should have in their fridge for me when I visit next week), friends who tell me to suck it up because changing your body is going to hurt and be uncomfortable at times, friends who ask the hard questions and call me on my shit. Friends who will do virtual walks with me while we catch up on the phone. I am a LUCKY girl and I know it! But I also have intentionally reached out to people through support groups to help hold me accountable. Work our partners that will say, come on let's get moving. People that understand how hard this journey is, no how eating pureed meat sounds disgusting and can give tips on how to make it through each food phase after surgery. People who can tell me what has worked for them and what hasn't.
The moral of this post: Choose your "people" wisely. Don't allow others to deter you from what you want the rest of your life to look like.
After my trip to Ireland last summer, where I had 2 personal best moments, I have decided that my goal in life is to do something for the first time, every chance I get. If you asked me 6 months ago, if I planned on lifting weights, I would have laughed at you. I started the journey by saying, I would increase my walking and do Aqua Arthritis classes........now I do strength circuit training and Aqua Boot Camp.......yep, it is a new life for this girl!
As my friend Julie would say.......Adventure On!
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