WTF am I about to do to my body?????

The past few days, thoughts of my surgery have been occupying my mind. I have had dreams of Dr. Bello and Dr. Dovec doing a flash mob, through the OR, on the day of my procedure. I have been fighting head hunger and mourning my old lifestyle.  Worrying about what friends will stick with me through the journey and who I will lose.

I have found myself questioning, what the heck I am doing to myself.  Is this worth it, am I strong enough to make the right choices, am I really okay with no alcohol or carbonation for a year?

Then, my mind says, stop it!  You have been preparing for this moment for 6 months.  You love yourself more than you love food.  I can do this.  I will do this. I WANT to do this!  I am looking forward to my second chance at life.  For the opportunity to retrain my hunger cues, to reset my metabolism and to not screw it up again!

My whole life has involved celebrating around food and drink.  That is a hard habit to break.  I am reading lots of people posting about how to cheat on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It is just a meal.  Is Christmas going to be difficult for me this year?  YEP, I will just be on the soft food phase.  My family usually does lasagna, not sure what will be on the menu this year, BUT I know that my family will encourage and support me.

Hoping my doubt and fear subside soon....I know this is the right path for me and I am really excited to start the next phase of the journey.  I just need my head to get out of my way!

10 days!