By the Numbers: Old Habits Die Hard

So, it's been a month since my last "reality" check.

This past month was not as successful as I would have liked it to be.  Why is that, you may ask?  I allowed starches back into my diet and not just as a treat.  See, when you are morbidly obese for your entire adult life, and you have an addiction to the item that keeps you alive, it is a struggle EVERY day.  The exercise isn't the hard part, it is the food piece that trips me up.


Starches are no joke people.  I have been feeling sluggish, my face is breaking out, my mood is different and my weight and measurements reflect the diet change as well.  I have to keep remembering that Dr. Bello gave me a tool, the COMP family trained me on my tool and it is my responsibility, and mine alone, to use the tool correctly.  Fat brain be damned.  I don't care how damn good that cookie tastes or how damn good a hotdog in a potato bun is, starches are my enemy.  My brain craves them and once I reintroduced them, I have been struggling with detoxing from them.  You will notice, that I did lose some inches, but not nearly the success I have had when I stick to the routine and the plan.  To only lose an inch in a month, is NOT ACCEPTABLE.   I'm thankful for any lose, but get it together Gretchen.  As a side note, I'm pretty sure my chest gained in inches because of the bra I was wearing.  So, a tip to all, wear the same type of clothing and undergarments when you weigh in and get measured. 





I promised myself and my surgeon that I would continue to blog for two reasons:  to keep myself accountable AND to show others that you can stumble, get back up and succeed.  I wish people would stop staying they can ONLY reach a certain weight.  Stop looking at the averages that get listed in all of the WLS groups on FB.  WE CAN REACH WHATEVER GOAL WE SET FOR OURSELVES.  The tool will only take you so far, and that is what the averages that are listed show.  That shows what you can reasonably expect IF you do the bare minimum.  So let's get our asses outside, ride a bike, take a hike, go swimming, get in a canoe, just do something to make ourselves feel better and get healthier.

6-month Appointment

June 2nd will be the 6 month anniversary of my WLS.  The months have flown by. The journey has not been easy, but it has been amazing and worth every bead of sweat and tear.

I had my 6 month follow up yesterday and I am down exactly 100lbs (110lbs from my highest) from my initial appointment. Dr. Bello was thrilled with my progress and so am I.

I can't believe it has been 6 months.  I can't wait to see my progress in another 6 months.  Hoping to be in the low 200's.  BUT, wherever I end up, I'm proud of myself for working hard and sticking with the journey, even when I feel like quitting.

Here's to the rest of my life, which is bound to be longer now that I have lost over 100lbs.

Demons

I'll just leave this right here........

Back on track

I lost 4lbs this past week!  It was a stressful week, I lost a woman very close to me, work is a bit crazy with some potential changes occurring and I became addicted to peanut butter balls.  Yes, you read that correctly, don't judge.  They are delicious, creamy goodness that I couldn't stop eating.  SO, my solution, don't buy any.  Of course now, I'm craving them as my body detoxes from their delicious taste.

I'm down 4lbs this past week.  I didn't get to the gym like I wanted, but I still chose something active most days. I have 8 more lbs until I'm at my next scale goal and I have 20 days to get there!  In the past, when I wasn't as committed to the process, I would view it as defeat and just keep spiraling towards destruction.  This journey has changed that for me.  

I have said it before and I will keep saying it, without support, this journey is near impossible. It's a head game and food addiction is real.  Once bite of starches and my brain reverts to the way it thought 100 lbs ago.  I tell myself, it's just a few tater tots, or just one small roll.  BULLSHIT, it is never just one or a few.  Okay, it is, but that is only because I can't fit more in my stomach.  But that means, it is only the starch that ends up in my belly.  Protein first, then veggies!

I NEED to get back to the 5 days a week in the gym.  I didn't love my pool work outs, but I didn't hate them.  I also saw great progress when I went at least Saturday mornings.  So, I will get back at it.

Another week, another wake up call and moving forward!

  

 

By the Numbers: Feeling better about my month

Yesterday I was feeling pretty down about my progress over the past month.  According to my personal scale, I had only lost 2lbs, but according to the gym scale, I have lost 7lbs.  But even better than that, although last month, I lost 10 more lbs.  This month I lost 2 more inches.  So I have no lost a total of 54.5 inches!  AND, my belly, which is where I want the inches to go down most (because as we know, circumference of your abdomen is a predictor of heart disease), is almost below 50 inches.  I have lost 11.5 inches JUST from my abdomen. 

This journey definitely can mess with your head.  It's about balance, it's about dedication, it's about loving myself more than the damn piece of pizza I want to eat.

I've never worked so hard at becoming healthier and I'm really proud of my progress.  I'm almost 1/2 way to my goal and only 5 months out from surgery.  I WILL do this!

My next scale goal is to hit 299.  That means I have 12lbs to go.  I want this by June 4th!  I CAN DO IT!

Diligence is key

So, my scale broke.  No big deal right?  Just buy another one Gretchen, this is a 1st world problem.  WELL, guess what happens when you don't buy a scale right away?  You get lax on your process and dedication.  You slip a cookie there, eat another starch there, and stop tracking your food intake as diligently as you had been.

So, my last weigh in, on my scale, was April 11th.  The good news is, I haven't gained in the past month, BUT I should have lost more than 2 lbs.  I will take the lose, but it was a wake up call.

Did I have access to a scale?  Of course I did.  I used this as an excuse because this new lifestyle is HARD.  Because there are days I want to say fuck it, I'm tired.  I don't care how many carbs I'm eating.  I don't care if I sneak a starch into my diet. 

Well guess what?  I'm only hurting myself.  NOBODY else cares if I get lazy about my health.  NOBODY else is going to monitor what I choose to put into my body.  NOBODY else knows my daily struggle to do the "right" thing.  Listen, I know how I got to be over 400lbs.  I also know how I was able to lose weight before surgery and been as successful as I have been since surgery.  It's my choice.  Sink or swim time. 

So today, I recommit (again) to my journey.  The journey to healthier curves.  The journey to a longer, healthier life.  Back to basics. 

Here we go........only success is allowed!

Kankles no more

See that......a bone, yep, that's my ankle bone!  I haven't seen it since I was 13!  I'm am over the moon to be reunited with it!

I look forward to when it is even more defined than it is right now.  When you haven't weighed in 3 weeks, NSV's are a life saver!