By the Numbers: Old Habits Die Hard

So, it's been a month since my last "reality" check.

This past month was not as successful as I would have liked it to be.  Why is that, you may ask?  I allowed starches back into my diet and not just as a treat.  See, when you are morbidly obese for your entire adult life, and you have an addiction to the item that keeps you alive, it is a struggle EVERY day.  The exercise isn't the hard part, it is the food piece that trips me up.


Starches are no joke people.  I have been feeling sluggish, my face is breaking out, my mood is different and my weight and measurements reflect the diet change as well.  I have to keep remembering that Dr. Bello gave me a tool, the COMP family trained me on my tool and it is my responsibility, and mine alone, to use the tool correctly.  Fat brain be damned.  I don't care how damn good that cookie tastes or how damn good a hotdog in a potato bun is, starches are my enemy.  My brain craves them and once I reintroduced them, I have been struggling with detoxing from them.  You will notice, that I did lose some inches, but not nearly the success I have had when I stick to the routine and the plan.  To only lose an inch in a month, is NOT ACCEPTABLE.   I'm thankful for any lose, but get it together Gretchen.  As a side note, I'm pretty sure my chest gained in inches because of the bra I was wearing.  So, a tip to all, wear the same type of clothing and undergarments when you weigh in and get measured. 





I promised myself and my surgeon that I would continue to blog for two reasons:  to keep myself accountable AND to show others that you can stumble, get back up and succeed.  I wish people would stop staying they can ONLY reach a certain weight.  Stop looking at the averages that get listed in all of the WLS groups on FB.  WE CAN REACH WHATEVER GOAL WE SET FOR OURSELVES.  The tool will only take you so far, and that is what the averages that are listed show.  That shows what you can reasonably expect IF you do the bare minimum.  So let's get our asses outside, ride a bike, take a hike, go swimming, get in a canoe, just do something to make ourselves feel better and get healthier.

Nobody defines me, but me

In almost every support group I belong to, people are constantly comparing themselves to how others are doing.  This journey is personal. All of our bodies are different.  The only thing you should worry about is if YOU are doing the best you can possible do!!  Our job is to challenge ourselves to reach, just past the our comfort zones, to try new things, to work hard at getting healthier. We sabotage ourselves when we look at someone and say, "Why am I not as far along as they are?".  All of us put our best foot forward, we don't know what happens in the privacy of people's lives.  We only know what they are sharing on social media. You loved yourself enough to have MAJOR, life altering surgery.  SO, maybe just maybe, we should love ourselves enough to just try and be better than we were yesterday.  To not beat ourselves up because we took a bite of break, or had alcohol, or skipped the gym.  We are HUMAN, we will falter.  It isn't the faltering you should judge, it is how we pull ourselves back up and do better the next time.

I also think we need to stop listening to people when they say, you chose the easy way, I'm doing this on my own.  Guess what??  I still have to make the right choices.  I still need to force my ass to get into the car and drive to the gym.  I still need to force myself to say no to bread and cookies.  I still need to force myself to read ingredients, measure my food, focus on water and protein and do all of that with a smile on my face.  This journey is HARD and time consuming.  I feel like all I do is eat, drink, take vitamins, work out, repeat.  When I am not doing one of those, I am planning my meals for the week, planning my work out routine, buying vitamins and other tools to help me be successful.

I will not allow anyone to define me.  I define me, my hard work defines me, my word defines me!  My journey is mine alone, nobody can truly understand what I struggle with daily, what crazy thoughts I have, the self doubt and self judgement I have when I don't meet a goal I set or get complacent and not as strict with my work outs and eating habits.

I am working very hard and it isn't easy.......but everyday, I am thankful for the tool I have been given.  Everyday, I am thankful, I was brave enough to let a surgeon cut into my body and remove 2/3 of my stomach.  Everyday, I am thankful for the people who may not understand my choices, but love me enough to support me, while challenging me at the same time. 

This Is Us.......

I adore the show This Is Us!  No really, adore is not the right word.  It is a show that touches me every time I watch it.  There are lots of powerful messages.

I was excited to learn they were going to do a story line around weight loss surgery, but I was also nervous that they wouldn't do the process justice.

The reason I have been so open about my journey is because I want people to understand it is not a quick fix, it is not the easy way out, I did not "cheat" because I chose surgery.

So to hear interviews with Chrissy Metz where she says she is losing weight, but didn't chose surgery because she didn't want a quick fix, I get frustrated.  Do you drop weight quickly at first...of course you do, because you have a significantly smaller stomach AND you can't fit much into it, so your body starves and feeds off of fat that is stored.

Trust me when I say the surgery itself, is the easy part of the journey.

My emotions have been ALL over the place for the past 7 days.  I am tired of always eating and drinking.  I am tired of weighing my food, tracking what I eat and struggling to get in all the protein I need, plus adding veggies.  It is frustrating to never have clothes that fit properly because you are dropping weight and it doesn't make sense to buy clothes because they will be too big in just a few weeks. 

It is an emotional journey and unless you prepare before surgery, really change your relationship with food, get active and surround yourself with supportive people, even surgery won't help you lose and maintain significant weight loss.

This morning, on my surgery center's FB support page, Dr. Dovec shared that the average person does 22 diets before they even look into weight loss surgery.  So, pretty sure that means those fad diets, diet programs, etc are not quick or long term fixes........

She also said that only 1% of all Americans who qualify for weight loss surgery actually have the surgery.  There are approximately 200,000 weight loss surgeries performed annually.

Surgery ONLY works IF the following formula is put into place:  (stolen from Dr. Dovec)




weight loss surgery + changing your understanding and relationship with food + getting more active + mental health strategies = LIFELONG SUCCESS

Here's hoping that the writers do this story line justice and it is accurate!

Anyway.........I will continue to share my story and journey so people understand what weight loss surgery is really about!