Week 2 of NewTri and journey to possible revision, Support Group etiquette and general rant.......

Okay, so..........I am starting to understand why so many new people are having questions that I think they should know before surgery.  Many new patients are doing NewTri and not in person classes.

I recognize that I have been through the in person nutrition classes, did a TON of research before my first surgery and had the nutrition knowledge and self awareness as to why my relationship with food was broken.  BUT, NewTri seems way too simplistic and doesn't really address things you can't read in the binder given.  Maybe the future weeks will be more in depth (fingers crossed).  If they aren't, I think we will continue to see a rise in failure rates.

I also think that people continue to view weight loss surgery or medical weight loss programs as a quick fix.  IT IS NOT!  I struggle every single day with every single piece of food or beverage I put in my mouth.  It is about mindset and choices. My mindset is not always right and I definitely don't always make the correct food and beverage choices, but my relationship with food has changed.

Surgery is a tool, not the answer to the emotional wellness side of morbid obesity.  I think this just reinforces my thought that continued counseling should be part of a comprehensive weight loss program.

I'm trying not to be judgey, but I have to admit, today I am!  I belong to a support group for weight loss patients.  I am usually a huge cheerleader and support people when I can.  Let's face it, WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A NATIONAL PANDEMIC!  (in case you didn't know, lol).  I can barely support my own emotions and struggles, never mind someone who I don't know, have never met and have never interacted with.  To get chastised, as a group, in a SUPPORT GROUP setting (on social media), for not reaching out to someone personally or commenting on a FB post they posted is just plain ridiculous!  I said it, go ahead throw darts at me, take me out back and cane me, but I am not sorry I didn't comment.  I AM sorry the person felt alone and needed prayers.  But there are also Facebook algorithms to consider and it was a holiday weekend and many people are limiting FB to avoid the negative political and COVID-19 news.  We need to remember that it isn't everyone's job to make us feel better and that we need to rely on the people in our personal world and not strangers on the Internet.  It goes along with me not telling Facebook land, that I was suspected of having COVID-19.  I didn't need attention, I needed to focus on getting healthy and staying the f*&^ out of the hospital.  I told people in my personal social network, so they could help if needed.

Now many of you may be saying, but Gretchen is putting this crap in a blog.  Well, it is my blog, read it or not.  It is my way of processing.  You get to control whether you click on the link to read it or not!

Here is a little article about protecting your mental health during a pandemic: https://www.jhsph.edu/covid-19/articles/protecting-your-mental-health-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic.html

The struggle is real

Sorry I have been MIA.  It is now 2 weeks since surgery and I have been struggling with figuring it all out.

This is definitely not an easy process or journey.  Of course, the struggle is worse because of a stomach virus I have.  When the scale is stuck, you want it to move, but you don't want it to move 6lbs overnight because of diarrhea and vomiting.  So my current focus is hydration.  Last thing I want is to be dehydrated.

Going to start taking Motive Pure and a probiotic.  Need to make sure my electrolytes are replenished. 

Food intake is tough.  Today, I made it to 70 grams of protein.  Need to work my way back up to 100 grams a day.  So hard when you get full so quickly.  I am also doing better with liquid intake.  Up to 50 oz today. 

Because of my bug, I am going to step back on the progression of food stages and stick with liquid and pureed.  But I have to admit, it SUCKS!  I am tired of drinking my food.  I tried egg salad, which I used to love, and now it makes me nauseous.  Today, I did discover, sugar free hot cocoa and Inspire Butter Mint.  OH MY!  It was like have a forbidden treat.  It helps me get 20 grams of protein in pretty easily.

If anyone has any other ideas for getting in the protein, I would be grateful! 

As of today, I am down 21.5 lbs since surgery and 4lbs away from my first weight loss goal of 349.  My goal is to be weighed on the scare at my PCP's office. 

Crazy journey.......I know it gets easier....but right now, I am struggling with waiting for that to happen.  My emotions are getting a little wonky and I am tired of drinking stuff.  I will push forward and look towards all the people I have met, along this journey, that have been successful!  You are all an inspiration and will keep me going.

The effect of weightloss surgery on relationships

I came across an article today that indicates, weight loss surgery may not be great for marriages and families. 

 http://www.personalmedicare.com/bariatric-surgery-may-harm-marital-and-family-relationships/

This is what I have to say about that.....of course it can.  Everything we choose to do in life has the potential to impact our relationships negatively.  But here is a novel idea...communicate with those you love about what is happening.  We are human, so there are always going to be insecurities.

Will my partner still want me when they are in a smaller shell.  Will the attention, they may get from others, make them want to stray.  Will I still be attracted to my partner after they lose the weight.  How is our dynamic going to change.

I have seen opposing posts in the online support groups I follow.  Some say, their relationship has been ruined and others say, it has just become much stronger.  I think it depends on the status of your relationship before you have the surgery.

I have had to re-evaluate some of my friendships and realize, the only thing we had in common was food and alcohol.  Well, that isn't going to work for me any longer. I have friends who have already hinted that they are jealous I will be smaller than I am now.  Guess what, I am not going to be the jovial fat friend anymore.  I will just be the jovial friend who now is in a different shell.

My life changes, helped to push my dad to stop smoking.....so why can't we find the positive in the changes we choose to make ourselves healthier?

Relationships shouldn't be stagnant.  They should grow and change as people grow and change.  Someone who loves you, should want you to be around as long as possible.  They should want you to be the vest version of you, that you can be.

I say, kick those people, who aren't on board with your new life, to the curb!

jumping off my soapbox now

Reality vs Expectations = Disappointment

So have had 24 hours of up and down emotions.  Which landed me in disappointment valley!  I have 2 choices, I can hang out here OR I can focus on the great stuff happening.  I have decided to suck it up and focus on the good.

Let's start with the great news I received last night!  Take a look at my measurements.  I told you, a few posts back, that my numbers we re not pretty....but they are what they are.

Take a look at the total change!  Yep, you are reading that correctly, 8.5 total inches lost since June 29th.  Imagine what I can do if I actually worked out more consistently!  The chest, waist and neck are the numbers that I couldn't believe!  If this isn't motivation, I am not sure what is!

So here I was, on a high from my great night at the gym and so excited about my last nutrition appointment today.......and bam, I ended up in disappointment valley.  Apparently, according the the information COMP has, from my insurance, I still need another NUT appointment.  I was given the green light by NUT today and told I was ready to schedule with the surgeon.  All my testing was done, I lost my 5 lbs, I have added exercise and changed my eating habits......all was good to go!  And then.......I went to the receptionist and she popped my enthusiasm bubble.  Yep, one more NUT appointment and then I can do my final with Dr. Bello.  That means, I won't see him until October, which means, unless he has surgery opens quickly after that, I may not have surgery until November.  BOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I have 2 choices, hang out with my disappointment or move forward.  Use this as an opportunity to lose more weight and inches.  I would love to lose another 20 lbs before I have the surgery.  I will continue to reinforce exercise as habit and keep eating the way I am.

I have to keep my eye on the prize......I am kicking myself for not starting this journey earlier.....but I know there are more changes in my future!

So....here I go, looking forward, pushing through and making things happen.

Thanks again for following my journey!  It helps me to know that people are paying attention.  You each provide me with a level of accountability!