Week 2 of NewTri and journey to possible revision, Support Group etiquette and general rant.......

Okay, so..........I am starting to understand why so many new people are having questions that I think they should know before surgery.  Many new patients are doing NewTri and not in person classes.

I recognize that I have been through the in person nutrition classes, did a TON of research before my first surgery and had the nutrition knowledge and self awareness as to why my relationship with food was broken.  BUT, NewTri seems way too simplistic and doesn't really address things you can't read in the binder given.  Maybe the future weeks will be more in depth (fingers crossed).  If they aren't, I think we will continue to see a rise in failure rates.

I also think that people continue to view weight loss surgery or medical weight loss programs as a quick fix.  IT IS NOT!  I struggle every single day with every single piece of food or beverage I put in my mouth.  It is about mindset and choices. My mindset is not always right and I definitely don't always make the correct food and beverage choices, but my relationship with food has changed.

Surgery is a tool, not the answer to the emotional wellness side of morbid obesity.  I think this just reinforces my thought that continued counseling should be part of a comprehensive weight loss program.

I'm trying not to be judgey, but I have to admit, today I am!  I belong to a support group for weight loss patients.  I am usually a huge cheerleader and support people when I can.  Let's face it, WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A NATIONAL PANDEMIC!  (in case you didn't know, lol).  I can barely support my own emotions and struggles, never mind someone who I don't know, have never met and have never interacted with.  To get chastised, as a group, in a SUPPORT GROUP setting (on social media), for not reaching out to someone personally or commenting on a FB post they posted is just plain ridiculous!  I said it, go ahead throw darts at me, take me out back and cane me, but I am not sorry I didn't comment.  I AM sorry the person felt alone and needed prayers.  But there are also Facebook algorithms to consider and it was a holiday weekend and many people are limiting FB to avoid the negative political and COVID-19 news.  We need to remember that it isn't everyone's job to make us feel better and that we need to rely on the people in our personal world and not strangers on the Internet.  It goes along with me not telling Facebook land, that I was suspected of having COVID-19.  I didn't need attention, I needed to focus on getting healthy and staying the f*&^ out of the hospital.  I told people in my personal social network, so they could help if needed.

Now many of you may be saying, but Gretchen is putting this crap in a blog.  Well, it is my blog, read it or not.  It is my way of processing.  You get to control whether you click on the link to read it or not!

Here is a little article about protecting your mental health during a pandemic: https://www.jhsph.edu/covid-19/articles/protecting-your-mental-health-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic.html

Marie Kondo is onto something

Happy Friday!

I had been spiraling in my depression and decided in order to pull myself out, I needed to take control of something each day.

My first decision was to start the medical weight loss program, I mentioned in my last blog post.  Then I decided I needed to get my bedroom in order.  LORD do I have a lot of clothes, too many and most are not clothes I would wear or that fit.

Sooo.......I embarked on the Marie Kondo way of purging and organizing.

Here is just a sample of what I have accomplished.  I have 3 closets in my bedroom and have only completed 2 of them.  I have 2 three-drawer dressers and finished all of those.  The 3rd closet is tomorrow!  UGH  wish me luck because it is the worst of them!  Then on Sunday I am planning to tackle my craft closet.  Another nightmare, but I really don't scrapbook anymore, so do I really need to keep all that stuff?

 But I guess my point of this is, that when I got dressed this morning and I opened my drawers, I smiled.  Seems silly right?  But I was able to find the shirt I wanted to wear, the jeans I knew would be most comfy today and the undergarments I wanted, all without messing up the drawers and throwing stuff on the floor!  That is a huge win.  I at first thought, no way in hell I am going to take the time to fold that way each time I do laundry, and then when I opened the drawers today, I thought, yes I am.  so simple and made my morning stress free!

In times of uncertainty, it is important to embrace what you can control.  How are you maintaining control in your world?

Weight loss journey continues

Real talk time................................................

First of all, I refuse to be a statistic and I am not saying weight loss surgery failed me.  I am saying that weight loss surgery helped me reset my metabolism and relationship with food.  I am far from perfect and about a year out from reaching my goal in a healthy manner.  But I WILL reach my goal, even if it takes longer than I hoped.

I saw this quote and it resonated with me:  "Little by little becomes a lot."

When I started my journey in April 2016, I had the right mindset, I was dedicated, started working out (even though I threw up during my first strength class) and really focused on mindful eating and healthy choices 90% of the time.

I decided to revisit my blog and I miss that woman!  Her passion for herself and her journey is inspiring and I'm ready to find her again.

You may be asking, how the hell are you going to do that during a pandemic.  Well, at first I wasn't going to share my new chapter with people, but decided FUCK IT.  I have never hid my weight loss decision and journey, why start now.  That would mean I am ashamed and I'm not.

COMP at GBMC has started a medical weight loss program.  Just like when I started thinking about having the surgery, I decided it can't hurt to listen to the information and then make a decision.  I joined the group zoom and then did a 1:1 with Dr. Dovec.  I decided to give the meds a try to help me get some control.  I have been feeling really out of control with everything, as many of us are right now.  My depression kicked in and I was spiraling.  So I committed to doing this for 3 months.

I allowed many things to be excuses for getting off track.  I ended up having back surgery in October and yes, the pain did prevent me from being able to be active, but that snowballed into not changing my eating habits to match my lack of activity.  Not that I ate horrible most of the time, but I ate more than I should have because of lack of activity.

I have never made excuses for any regain that I have had.  I allowed my old mind set to creep in.  Now that some of the restrictions are lifted, I have been walking more with the pup.  It is slow because I am still recovering from COVID-19, and my lungs are still weak, but any movement is better than no movement.  I can't wait for gyms to re-open because even before surgery, that is how I was really able to increase my metabolism and build muscle.  The muscle mass is crucial to burning fat.

I just signed up for a virtual 10K and I am hoping the Father's Day 5K is still on!

You may be wondering about the meds.  Part of journaling is for me track how the meds are interacting with my body.  I am taking Phentermine.  I'll be on the meds for 3 months.  Starting with a very low dose and only increasing if needed.

Day 1

• I was a little jittery in the morning.
• Definitely had more energy.
• My appetite was suppressed and I didn't feel hunger.
• Only ate 3 meals, no snacks.
• Walked 3 miles with the pup.

Day 2

• No jitters.
• Lots of energy.
• My appetite was suppressed, but felt hunger.
• I had 3 meals and 1 snack.
• Used my portable bike pedals for 15 mins.

Day 3

• No jitters.
• Lots of energy.
• My appetite was suppressed and didn't feel hunger
• I had 3 meals and 1 snack.
• Walked around the property with the pup.
• Participated in the group support meeting

Day 4 (today)

• No jitters.
• Lots of energy.
• So far my appetite is still suppressed.
• I have not done any physical activity yet.

I have scheduled an appointment with a counselor to work through food issues during this next phase of my journey.

I'm done 4 lbs which is great, but the best part is I feel a sense of control and that has definitely helped my mental health.

Oh.......and I am starting NewTri Health (online nutrition program) because it seems I will most likely need a revision from Gastric Sleeve to Gastric Bypass due to severe GERD.  Not what I wanted to have happen, but I want to not feel pain when I eat or drink.

I'm looking forward to seeing where the next 3 months take me.