Journal Challenge # 3: What has been the hardest part of the journey?

 

This quote sums up my struggle!  I am the all in or all out type of gal!  When I chose WLS, I jumped in head first and didn't look to make sure there were no rocks or debris in my way.  So.......I've gotten some bumps and bruises along the way.  THAT'S OKAY!  You know why?  It is from our detours, small injuries, and falls that we learn what works and what doesn't.  

I've dieted my entire life.  From going to Weight Watchers with my mom and then getting pizza afterwards, to going to Diet Center and learning tofu wasn't too horrible if you masked it in bran muffins, because it was the bran that was gross to a 14 year old.  To doing the weird Richard Simmons program where you had cards and had to move them from one side of the portfolio wallet to the other. To talking these crazy horse sized pills from a "health" store and then finally trying Nutrisystem.  Guess what?  They all worked, UNTIL I stopped working the program or current fad.

As I've journeyed through adulthood and struggled with my weight, I've learned one important thing.  It is all about mindset.  It is all about two things:  Changing your mindset and finding support.

Change your word, change your mindset!
It's amazing what your brain can do for your motivation.  I'm not on a diet any longer.  I chose a new lifestyle.  I don't say I can't eat something, I say I'm choosing not to eat that.  I can't stand when people ask me if I'm allowed to have something.  I'm not 2, I'm 45.  I can choose to eat and drink whatever I'd like.  The difference is, I know, NOW, how my body reacts when I choose certain foods.  I NOW know that nope, when it comes to bread and dessert, I have NO will power, so I can't have them in my house. I've learned which foods make me feel strong and healthy and which foods make me feel sick and sluggish.  I now listen to my body and the cues it gives me that my tiny tummy is full.

The other lesson I've learned is that it is all about the people you choose to surround yourself with.  I call it the garden of my life, my tribe, my circle.  Whatever you choose to call it, find them!  Find the people who lift you up, who call you out on your bullshit, who aren't afraid to piss you off because they know your goals and want you to be successful.  Weed those out that sabotage you, encourage you to stray from your path, that just don't understand why you are doing what you are doing.

I'm is so blessed to have the people I do in my inner circle!  My friends Tara, Brian and BJ are my rocks.  They show up when I need them, they question me when I say something, but it doesn't seem authentic, they love me unconditionally even when I'm being crazy and unrealistic.  None of them told me I didn't have a neck before I started this journey, but how does one tell their friend, HEY you are killing yourself AND you no longer have a neck.  Maybe it's time to change something.  My boyfriend, who is 6ft and weights 138lbs and eats like crap, supports me and encourages me. He has no idea what it is like to be overweight, he has never struggled with having to choose what you eat carefully.  He let's me choose where we eat, he asks about my gym schedule and offers to pay so that I don't feel stressed over the cost of being healthy and loves me at the size I was when we met, loves me at the size I am now and just wants me to be happy and healthy.  He says the happier I am, the happier he will be and the happier we can be as a couple.  Your tribe can make or break you, so choose wisely.