Breaking up with Diet Dr. Pepper!

Diet Dr. Pepper is by far my favorite beverage!  When a restaurant carries it, I actually do a happy dance!  As part of the WLS, I won't be able to have ANY carbonated beverages for a year after the procedure.  I knew this was going to be a tough one for me to change.

Three weeks ago today, I decided it was going to be the first big change I made.  Even when I found a lonely can, tucked in the back of the refrigerator at work, I resisted and poured it out.  Now that was painful!

I do have cravings for it, especially when it is really warm out or I have eaten something salty. (which means, I should avoid those salty goodies).

I know I can do it for at least 40 days because I have endured the torture during Lent many times.

Next challenge.....weight all protein and reach the goal of 80grams of protein a day!

No More Excuses!

Okay...clearly the focus of my journey is my weight.  That is why they call it weight loss surgery!  BUT, I am doing the weight loss surgery as a focus on my health.

So it is time to stop saying, I am a big girl, I surely can't go to the gym.  That that is just plan bullshit!

Yesterday I met with the membership coordinator at Brickbodies.  I signed up for the WaterWorxs/First Step Program, that was recommended by my surgeon.  I will meet once with a personal trainer to set goals and do an assessment, then I will meet with someone that works with the pool.

I have decided to start slow, doing something to get myself motivated.  The goal is to make working out a habit way before the surgery.  I have also decided to not force myself to do the exercises that I know I won't follow through with.  I am going to focus on the pool, strengthening, becoming more flexible and as the weight begins to come off, I will expand to other areas of the gym.

I have had so many people give me advice on what I have to be doing to lose weight, building muscles and improve my cardiovascular system.  I simply say, thank you and move on.  Nobody knows my body, except for me!  Nobody knows my limitations, except for me! I also know that when I am motivated, I can push myself to do almost anything. 

As I continue down this path to surgery day, it becomes more and more clear, who I need to keep in my circle and who needs to removed from my circle.  When you are fighting for your life (because let's face it, when you are morbidly obese, you are killing yourself), you need cheerleaders!  You need people who will let you cry and work through the inevitable emotions and you need people who will call you on your crap!  I am lucky to have those people in my world!

Psychologically Cleared for Surgery

On May 17th, I met with Dr. Paul Giggey.  Some of my inner circle know, that while living in San Francisco, I went through a pretty traumatic situation.  After my best friend helped me realize I was in a depression from the "event", I started seeking help from a therapist.  I think I fired 5 before I found Bev, who was amazing!  So, needless to say, I was a bit leery about seeing a therapist now.

I actually enjoyed talking with Dr. Giggey.  His practice is housed in a space that is very warm and welcoming.  He is easy to talk with and clearly is used to working with morbidly obese clients and seems to understand the emotions behind it.

It is also very flattering with a therapist tells you that you have a presence about you and should really consider becoming a practitioner.

He cleared me for surgery! I learned a few things about myself in the process.....he says, I am not as much as an emotional eater as I thought I was (I am not really convinced of this, but we will see) and he confirmed for me that I can hold resentments.  This is something I work on intentionally.  I learned a long time ago, forgiveness is about my healing, not theirs, but sometimes the trust piece is difficult for me.

My guess is, if I can figure out how to afford it, I will seek Dr. Giggey's help in dealing with the emotions that large weight loss is bound to dredge up!

Life Changes; Tough Choices - The Journey Begins!

Sooo......2 months ago, during a conversation with my primary care doctor, she said "Gretchen, I can tell you are frustrated with your weight loss journey. You seem to be stuck, what can we do to help you get through this." My response.....Dr. Dow, I am ready to try ANYTHING!  We started with agreeing to do a sleep study, join a medically supervised exercise program at the gym and then, she said the "dirty" words, weight loss surgery.

I know I sighed audibly, and she smiled at me.  Weight loss surgery was always a last chance option for me.  I know several people who have gone through the surgery (some successfully, and several who have regained the weight after 2-3years).  Here's the thing, I know I am stubborn, strong, determined, blahblahblah..........It scares me to death, that I will become complacent like the people I know who have regained the weight.

I promised my doctor, I would do a consultation with a surgeon. I promised I would be open minded and really listen to what the surgeon had to say.  I am leaning more towards having the surgery than not having the surgery.  I would be doing the Vertical Gastric Sleeve.  Basically they remove 2/3 of your stomach, the portion that creates ghrelin.  Ghrelin is the hormone that creates the feeling of hunger.

So far, I have been to an orientation, met with the surgeon, done a crap load of research and had 1 nutrition class.

My psych eval is scheduled (okay, for those that know me.....don't say it, I know I am crazy, but hey, why not have a doc tell me officially?)

I had my last Diet Dr. Pepper on Tuesday (even though I found one in the office fridge yesterday).  (can't have carbonation for at least 1 year after surgery).

I have started practicing not drinking anything 30 mins before or 30 mins after I eat.....that is a tough habit to break!  Next will be not drinking with a straw AND giving up coffee.  I think I will wait until September 1st for the coffee......

I am going to the gym for an orientation today, I will meet with a trainer 2x a week and then also do some pool work (which is really what I want to do......)

The earliest I can do the surgery would be middle to end of October.  I decided to share my decision because I think that people tend to be ashamed of deciding this drastic route to assist with weight loss.  If you think it is the easy way out, you would be wrong.  Yes, the surgery is the easy piece, BUT we are talking a complete lifestyle change.  Remember, the stomach will be 2/3 smaller than it is now.  This is just a tool.  I will be looking to my inner circle, more than ever, for support.

I ask that if you have something negative to say, DON'T say anything.  This is not a decision I am coming to lightly.  It has taken a lot of prayer and research.

Let the journey begin!