It is funny how when you stand up for yourself, call people out for inconsistenicies and disrespect, they become defensive and prove your point for you.
"I don't unfriend people because they speak their truth."
"I am okay with you thinking differntly than I do."
"I don't want to talk about that subject." (but yet they continue to post about it all over social media)
I know, in my mind, that we should believe people when they show us the person they are. When they show us their true colors. BUT I have a bad habit of holding out hope that there is hope. I egotistically believe that I can evoke change (this is where me choosing "projects" comes into play, this is the ugly head of co-dependency). I end up ignoring my inner voice, my intution. I end up letting people in that should only be surface friends. I jump instead of crawl into both platonic and romantic relationships.
I feel and love so completely that I end up getting hurt in the end.
We want to people to be the version of the person we have created in our thoughts and often fail to recognize the person they are. I am thankful that I have a core group that is different from me! People who can teach me and share with me. I love learning and growing and sometimes, even when someone has the same values as you, they can open your eyes to a new perspective on a subject.
I also believe that people have to do what is best for themselves, to protect their mental health and that means sometimes they have to walk away.
I had big plans for myself in 2020, but like many others, those plans didnt quit go the way I had imagined.
So.....here it is, 2021 and I'm determined to move forward, make progress and continue to grow.
1) I'm done making things better for everyone else, at my expense. Sometimes you WILL NOT get the happy go lucky Gretchen, you will get the I'm tired of this crap Gretchen. This also means not keeping people on my island that don't support anything on this list.
2) I'm focused on continuing the journey to healthy curves! I refocused on this in May. When I made the decision that I was worth it. I have lost all regain and am at the lowest weight I have been my entire adult life!
3) I'm focused on quality time with friends and family. Even it is has to continue to be virtually, FOR NOW! My relationship with my sister has strengthened over the past 10 months.
4) I'm focused on financial health and NOT using credit cards. This also includes building my wine and nail
5) I'm focused on exploring the skills that the universe gave me and persuing the steps to becomeing a liscensed addiction counselor.
6) I'm focused on doing more of what I love and less of what I feel obligated to do (so please do not be offended if you hear no from me more often, refer to #1).
If you are reading this, please feel free to ask me how I'm doing on these 6 items! We all need accountability!
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