Dr. Bello was the surgeon presenting that day and little did I know, I had just met the man who was going to give me my life back. I signed up for the initial consult, on the spot. Again, I figured, it can't hurt. The only thing I will lose is $35 and an hour of my time.
I remember leaving the info session energized, like I was ready to take my life back. My initial appointment was in April 2016. I remember thinking, okay Gretchen, just go through the 6 month prep program. Follow the nutrition guidelines, get your ass in the gym and see what happens. Even if you decide, at the end of the 6 months, that surgery is not the right option, you will have at least changed your lifestyle for the better.
So, I followed the program, got a gym membership, signed up with a personal trainer on June 29, 2016 and changed my eating habits. Did I still eat bread and pasta at the beginning....HELL YES, I did! But I quickly learned that it made me sick when I did. Because I was eating is sparingly, it didn't agree with me.
Now, 1 year later, I have shed 105lbs, gone forever, never to be found again! When I look at my before pics, I just can't believe it. How did I not see how large I had become? How did I allow myself to be slowly killing myself? Why the hell didn't I listen to my primary care physician earlier and start the weight loss surgery process sooner. Why? Because I was afraid to find out who was hiding behind all this weight. I was afraid to figure out why I had eaten my way to 419lbs. What was I hiding and avoiding. I kept saying that I wasn't going to change just because I was losing an entire person....but guess what, that was a lie.
I am changing. All for the best. I have always been pretty confident, but my confidence has increased. I challenge myself daily to do better than I did the day before. I'm not hiding behind my fat layers any longer. I am becoming the person I always knew I could be, just needed the push to get there.
My relationship with food has changed FOREVER! Now, I just need to stop hating exercise so much. It is a struggle everyday to remind my fat self, that my body is smaller and healthier. That I don't need the chips or bread. That eating spaghetti squash is just as good as eating pasta......okay that last one is a stretch. I MISS PASTA!But you know what? I don't miss soda, I don't miss dessert, I don't miss feeling sluggish and exhausted from walking from my building to my office. I can take Maisie on longer walks than I have been able to before. I don't have to worry about a booth versus table at a restaurant. I don't use bra strap extenders, seat belt extenders or any extender! I put on a size 20 pair of shorts, from Old Navy and cried. Literally cried because I didn't have to lay on the bed and shimmy into them. They buttoned, with little effort! Even when the scale is stuck, I focus on the non-scale victories.
My next scale goal is only 15lbs away! I will then be under 300lbs for the 1st time in my adult life! Yes, you read that correctly. People always gasp when I tell them my weight. They always say, wow, you don't look like you are over 300lbs. Trust me, I am! I drank too much beer, ate too much meat on sticks, lots of pizza, tons of fast food, tons of queso flamiado, breakfast burritos galore, cheesecake and oh yeah, flan, lots of flan. I loved living in TX, but damn 70lbs sure did add up quickly!!
But hey, nobody held me down to force feed me anything. I did it all by myself.
So, I learn from each struggle and recognize that with each hurdle I clear, I have progressed. When we know better, we do better.
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