It has been a long time since I have written. I find when I do blog, I stay on track because I feel like I'm accountable to anyone who chooses to read and share in my journey.
I flew home from Toronto today and I can tell you that I over indulged in alcohol and food. I did walk a ton, so the scale didn't move, but imagine if I had had just a few less drinks and a few less pretzels. (But how could I not keep going back to Steam Whistle, Duncan was too darn cute!)
But that isn't want I want to talk about. So when I weighed over 400lbs, I was always very self conscious and embarrassed to fly. People our country fat shame often. I had written about airplane travel a few years back and an article I had seen and how it made me feel. When I would fly, I would always take a window seat and make myself as scrunched as I could so not to intrude on someone else's space. BUT if my body spilled over onto the actual sitting area of the person next to me, I would expect to pay for more than one seat because I would be using up more than one seat. And Southwest, on more than one occasion made me purchase another seat, even though I could show them I fit into my own seat (although very tightly and with a seat belt extender).
Well gone are the days of the need for a seat belt extender and I can put down the tray table without it hitting my bell. My leg doesn't push against the arms and inadvertently push the arm between the seats up.
Since my 150lb weight loss (lord knows I still have about 100lbs to go), I have NEVER scoffed at the thought of sitting next to a larger person, offered to leave the arm up if they needed the room and tried to remember what it felt like when people stared at me and made me feel like less of a human being because I was large and they cringed at the thought of sitting with me.
Today, on my way back from Toronto, a family of 5 boarded last. All 5 individuals were large. No big deal, right? I had a seat open next to me, so I knew that one family member would be sitting with me. Again, no big deal. It is a short 90 min flight.
I was on the isle, so the young woman needed to get into the window seat. She got in, sat down and when I attempted to then get into my seat, I was not able to fit because her body was now occupying half of my seat. I am still morbidly obese, so this big butt girl needs her whole seat.
So here I was, remember how I used to feel when I didn't take up someone's physical seat and wanted to be as sensitive as I could, but at the same time advocating for myself to be able to have a safe flight myself. It brought me back to an episode of Ruby on TLC when she flew with her nephew and the airline him move because she was occupying too much of his seat and they deemed it unsafe.
I was very uncomfortable, but knew I wasn't going to be able to sit there. So I went up to the flight attendant and shared with her the situation. I didn't say it in front of the woman or where other passengers could hear me. Everyone deserves respect and dignity. There were 4 seats in Business Class open. I want to give kudos to the flight attendant on Air Canada because she was discreet and made it seem like I was being given an upgrade without asking for one.
I share this story for a few reasons. One, it isn't difficult to treat people with respect and allow them dignity in awkward situations. I know that young woman was stressing. She couldn't fit without the arm going up or without a seat belt extender. I didn't need to embarrass her in anyway. Secondly, It is so important for me to remember the feelings I had when I was over 400lbs. It humbles me and makes me reflect and be even more thankful for the journey I've been on and the ability to have a surgery that has saved and extended my life. Thirdly, service providers and people working in any hospitality industry need training on how to handle awkward and sensitive situations. And finally, it is so important that we all recognize our privilege. Whether we are CIS gendered, white, wealthy, thin, able bodied, etc. If you don't have to worry about which bathroom to use, being pulled over by a police officer and wondering if you will be profiled because of the pigment of your skin or your accent, if a restaurant will have sitting that will accommodate your body size or if you will be able to enjoy a form of entertainment with friends and family based on if you are able to walk through grass or a rocky area or need any type of assistance due to a physical limitation, then you have an innate privilege that you didn't earn, but was afforded to you based what society deems better than.......If we can all recognize our roles in how we interact with people and the bias we carry with us into every situation, then maybe, just maybe we could begin to look at things through a different lens and our world could be a little more welcoming and friendly towards those that may be different than us.
